I Can Hear His Heartbeat
by BeyondTheClouds777
Summary: Eren was alive. That was the most important thing. (One-shot)


Mikasa laid awake, staring up at the ceiling of the Jaeger residence. The wooden roof was unfamiliar; she was so used to her own home that being in a new one just seemed unnatural. She missed her old home. She missed her Mom and Dad.

But her parents were dead, having been brutally murdered right before her eyes. She winced as the image flashed through her mind, pulling her blanket over her head, wishing that somehow, the rough-feeling fabric would keep out all memories of her deceased mother and father.

Unfortunately, no such luck existed in the world they lived in.

She turned over on her side, the fabric of the crimson red scarf Eren had given her shifting against her neck. She couldn't close her eyes without imagining the bloody, broken, dead bodies of her mother and father.

She was angry at herself. After Eren found her and killed two of her captors, he had gotten her to kill the third one. Why hadn't she killed them before they killed her parents? Why wait until it was too late?

Regrets were useless. She could wish all she wanted, but it would never change what actually happened to her dear mother and father. She wanted to more than ever, but she couldn't rewrite the past no matter how badly she wanted to.

Although she was tired, sleep seemed to haunt her. Every time she closed her eyes for even a split second, the images replayed in her head like a broken record set to repeat the most horrifying moment of her young life. At long last, sleep finally came.

And so did the nightmares.

In her mind, she could see Eren screaming at her to fight. His desperate eyes bore into hers as if staring straight into her soul. His teeth were clenched and gritted as the man attacking him seized his throat and held him tight. Mikasa wanted to move. She wanted to do something. She wanted to grab a knife and fight. She wanted to save Eren as he had saved her.

But for some reason, she couldn't move. Her feet refused to work. Her legs felt as though they were frozen solid. Her eyes remained glued to Eren as she watched him struggle helplessly against the one choking the life out of him.

Suddenly, Eren dropped to the floor like a stone. His eyes rolled back in his head, his body limp and motionless as though he were a ragdoll.

Dead.

Just like the mother and father she also couldn't save.

Mikasa's eyes shot open, and she lurched forward with a breathy shriek that was thready and full of terror. She assessed her surroundings in a moment of fright; no, she was still at the Jaeger's home, on the bed of blankets she had been supplied with. THe reassurance wasn't exactly enough. For a fleeting moment, she couldn't tell the difference between what was real and what was a dream.

Had Eren really been killed?

The thought terrified her. She got to her feet unsteadily, wrapping the scarf more tightly around her neck as she walked out of the room and down the hallway, towards Eren's own bedroom.

Her feet creaked against the floorboards, sounding loads louder than it truly was. It seemed to echo throughout the entire house, and she couldn't help but pause every other step and make sure her steps were light and small.

She pushed the door to his room open and peered inside tentatively. It was dark and quiet. Too quiet, perhaps. It was quiet to the point where Mikasa was sure that is she had dropped a pin, the sound would have hurt her ears.

"Eren?" she whispered harshly into the darkness of the room. She waited a few moments before trying again, this time in a louder voice and more insistent tone. "Eren?"

There was a ruffling in the darkness of what sounded like blankets shifting against wood. "Mikasa?" a thick, sleep-clogged voice asked. "What are you doing up?"

Mikasa shuffled towards the voice nervously. She was never one for many words before the death of her parents, but ever since they were gone, it seemed as though whatever she wanted to say she simply could not speak.

"I was…" she began, and then stopped abruptly. She didn't exactly know what to say. Should she tell him about her dream? If she did, would he pity her, or would he think that she was just being a baby? She didn't want him to think that of her...but at the same time, what else was she supposed to say to him? She didn't think lying to him was such a good idea. "I had a dream that you died," she said.

"I'm fine," Eren said. He didn't sound fully awake; maybe half awake at best. "Go back to sleep."

Sleep? Mikasa wanted to sleep, but sleep didn't exactly seem possible. "Eren?" she whispered once again.

"Hmmm?"

She hesitated, her mind going a million miles an hour. She thought about saying something else, but her tongue seemed tied. She couldn't say anything…

She heard Eren sigh. "Come 'ere," he said, sounding exasperated, although Mikasa ignored it entirely. She smiled faintly in the darkness and climbed next to him in the bed, resting her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. She sighed, relieved that her dream wasn't real.

Eren sighed. "O _kay_ ," he said. "Just...don't push me off the bed in the middle of the night, alright?"

Mikasa nodded.

"I'll take you to meet my friend, Armin tomorrow," Eren said. "I'm sure he'll like to meet you, and I think you'll like him. He's...ah...well, he has high hopes for the world beyond the walls."

Mikasa nodded once again, although she couldn't hear much of what Eren was saying. Sleep was already overwhelming her, and she shut her eyes, Eren's heartbeat lulling her to sleep.

Nightmares ceased to plague her mind.

* * *

Battling Titans was something Mikasa could handle. What she couldn't handle was the look in Armin's face when he told her that Eren had been devoured by a Titan. She didn't want to imagine something like that ever happening, and at that moment, she swore bloody revenge on every single accursed Titan that ever walked the Earth. Her parents had been murdered, Eren's mother had been eaten, and now, Eren was gone, too.

She had no family left. She didn't know what else she had to live for. It seemed hopeless; Eren was the only thing that gave her hope. He gave her reason to move forward. But he was gone. To Mikasa, it seemed as though hope had been crushed underneath the foot of fear.

Right up until Eren emerged from the decaying, steaming body of a rogue Titan that seemed to have its mind made up on slaughtering any other Titan in its path. It was at that moment that Mikasa was sure her heart had skipped a beat.

Eren was _right there._

But was he _alive?_

It was that thought that had Mikasa running. She ran, jumped off the edge of the roof, activated her ODM gear, and took off towards him. She ignored Armin's shout of her name. When her gear lowered her to the ground, she still didn't slow. She ran, her mind racing, her heartbeat drumming against her chest as if it would bust through her ribs.

 _He has to be alive,_ she thought wildly as she ran towards him. _He has to be, he has to be, he has to be._

She slammed into him, grabbing him roughly and holding tight to the family she was sure she had lost. His head fell limply against her shoulder, his skin sweltering and feeling as though it would burn her. She held him for another moment before a terrifying thought plagued her.

 _What if he isn't alive?_

Her eyes widened, and she slid her head down so that her ear pressed against Eren's chest. She paused. It was hard to hear anything with the sound of her heart pounding against her chest, but at length, she heard it: the thready beat of Eren's heart.

He was alive.

She hugged him tightly again, tears springing into her eyes. She was aware of someone screaming; maybe it was her? She wasn't one hundred percent sure, but it sure felt like it was coming from her. The shrieks tore from her throat, and she couldn't stop them.

Eren was alive.

That was the most important thing.

 **Author's Notes:**

 **This is my first Attack on Titan fanfiction, like, EVER, and I hope I did a good job of it. Sorry if the ending was terrible...I can write stories, but I can't end them properly. :(**

 **I hope you all enjoyed this. It was** _ **so much fun**_ **to write. Honestly, it was. :)**

 **Until next story!**

 **-BeyondTheClouds777**


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